By: Cassia Glass - Houston, Texas
Some days I can be clipping along just fine on this trip called motherhood. I’m wrapping up an injury over here (we’ve graduated from Band-Aids to Ace bandages at our house). I’m balancing the checkbook over there. I’m rocking the world with a chicken recipe that actually turned out great. I will be at the top of my game, feeling spiritually fit and emotionally available. And maybe even getting my exercise in that week.
And then that monster rears its ugly head, that beast with the energy-draining suckers and the big ugly stick called “Guilt” or maybe “Incompetence” whanging away at me. It’s the beast that sneaks in after one or two nights awake with sick kids or a week of too many activities. It’s the one that tries to set up a tent in the living room when unexpected turmoil comes along to stretch your creativity and your budget.
Exhaustion.
Bone-grinding tiredness.
Please tell me you’ve been there, too. Not just a little tired but so exhausted that you really can’t say one nice thing to that whining child much less figure out what to do with frozen hamburger meat. Too tired to pretend with people at work and at church. And if it goes on long enough, your whole world looks gray and hopelessness starts to settle in.
A few weeks ago, I was going through this cycle of exhaustion, guilt, and depression and was trying to pray through it. Not a gentle, folding-of-the-hands, bending-of-the-knees kind of prayer. More of a desperately-trying-to-do-laundry-while-talking-to-God kind of prayer. It went something like this:
“I cannot do this. I am dying here. What I want to know is what would Jesus do in this situation?” Yes, I admit, there was a little attitude in there. “Really, I want to know how Jesus would handle this kind of exhaustion.”
He’d take a nap.
That was the answer that flooded my heart along with the image of Jesus taking a nap in a boat. You remember that story, don’t you?
One day Jesus said to his disciples,
"Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."
Luke 8:22-25 (NIV)
Yes, there was drama that followed Jesus’ nap—a storm, a miracle, an amazing outreach on the other side of the lake—and I’d like to say I got some huge theological insight at that moment. And no, the reminder of that story didn’t even make me solemnly nod in submission. It made me laugh over my laundry basket! Which is how my sweet Father often cuts through my exhaustion-induced, morose introspection to remind me, “Lighten up. I know how you are formed and that you are but dust.” (Ps. 103:14) So for me on that day and for these last few weeks, it has become clear that no matter what is coming next for my family and me, no matter how much I want to get my to-do list done, sometimes the best course of action is to do what Jesus did ... and take a nap!
