Working Moms

Life is always changing, isn't it?!  Next month, I'm heading back to work - to teach an Anatomy class as an adjuct at my old college!  I'm excited to be back in that familiar environment, to work with my colleagues again ... but I'm nervous about how I'm going to manage the extra work on top of my already busy mother-of-three-stay-at-home-Mom-pastor's-wife life!  Whew! 

 

As I get ready to head back to work, I find myself thinking about a post I wrote a while ago about the lessons I learned as a working mom.  I think this refresher is more for me than you, but maybe it can be for both of us!  May God bless the work of our hands, no matter where He leads us!

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Working Mom … isn’t that a silly title?   What mom’s aren’t working?  From dawn to dusk, wrangling kids, making lunches, nursing babies, cleaning the house, and oh wait … I have a husband, too?!  The word MOM means so much on its own, but add the word “working” as a prefix – as in working outside the home – and life becomes a whole new animal!

I started my dream job (college Anatomy teacher) as a young married woman with no kids.  My husband and I ate relaxing breakfasts together and then headed out the door.  I got to work early, got a jumpstart on my day, and stayed late whenever I needed to.  But then … I got pregnant!  I worked until 3 days before my daughter was born – waddling around the college with my ever-expanding belly, trying to squeeze my larger than life self between the rows of students and feeling so awkward when my belly bumped into their tattooed backsides at the lab bench!  But, as crazy as it sounds, I loved every minute of it!

My husband and I realized early on that I had been blessed with a wonderful job and a new baby, and God – in His perfect will for my life – had me keep working.  So, a few months after my little girl was born, I joined the ranks of the “working moms.”  For some of us, that can be a strange place to be – you can’t join the Tuesday morning bible study or pop in for all the classroom parties.  You may not be able to do everything that working-in the home-moms can do, but don’t think God can’t equip you to be a wonderful Mom even if you spend those middle-of-the-day hours at the office!

By the time I headed back to work after my daughter was born – I had been blessed with new priorities, and I knew many aspects of my work-life would need to change.  The Lord taught me three major lessons that year, and I hope these will be an encouragement to all the moms out there today – no matter your title!

• Lesson 1: When I'm at work – be at work.  When I'm at home – be at home.  For a while, I tried to bridge the gap by bringing my baby girl with me to work every chance I’d get.  As idyllic as that sounded – she was never content, and I was never able to fully focus on my work.  Basically, the more I tried to mix the two, the worse it seemed like I did at both!  It made more sense for me to separate the two.  If my baby was happy and well taken care of in the nursery, I could enjoy the security of knowing that while working diligently and getting things done in half the time.   (And that meant I could go home earlier!)
• Lesson 2: Be as efficient as possible – I always wanted to take as little work home with me as possible (see lesson 1!) – so I learned to ask myself: “Am I being as productive as possible right now?”  Am I chatting with people in the hallway, or am I shutting my office door so I can go home with an empty briefcase?  The more I buckled down while I was at work, the more quality time I’d have with my daughter while we were at home!
• Lesson 3: Cut myself some slack, and embrace the season – I was a SUPER-DUPER employee before I had my kids.  I promise I didn’t stink it up after they were born, but I accepted early on that if I didn’t get the highest possible rating at my evaluation, it would be ok, because “meeting expectations” and still getting to leave at a reasonable hour to be with my daughter was worth so much more than any “exceeds expectations” rating ever could be – even to this Type A girl!

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I read Proverbs 4 this week, and this verse sums it all up:“Ponder the path at your feet, and let all your ways be established.”
(Proverbs 4:26)

Be intentional with everything you do.  Commit your time to the Lord,
and He will bless you at work and at home!

Crayons

By: Lianne Robinson at Socks are Not the Enemy

I remember the joyful feeling of opening a new box of crayons so well.  The potential of that box of crayons was just endless to a young mind.  Oh, the pictures I would color!  The sharp, little Crayolas were lined up so smartly in their neat, colorful rows.  It was perfect.

 

But, without fail, soon those perfect little crayons would break.  I would lose my favorite blue.  I would use the yellow down to a little nub.  Someone would swipe my red.  Eventually I would cast aside that box of crayons for a newer one and the process would start all over.

A few years ago, my kids got a neat gift for Christmas.  They placed old, broken crayons in this little machine.  A light bulb heated up the crayons and melted them down into a mold.  The old, useless crayons were reborn as new rainbow crayons.  My kids were delighted!

Have you ever felt like a crayon?  Useless and cast aside?  Unable to leave a mark on the world?  Broken or lost?  No matter how broken, useless, lost, or purposeless we feel, God can still use us.  He never casts us aside because of our brokenness.  Rather, he can use our brokenness to make something beautiful in our world. 

We never lose our potential in God’s eyes.  He sees us, the broken and sinful people that we are, but also sees our potential, because “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do,” Ephesians 2:10.  Sometimes it takes a little heat to make us change into what God would have us to be.  It’s the difficult times that refine us, make us stronger, and more capable of doing God’s will.

 

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Lianne is a small-town Alabama mom who is just as likely to be found on the soccer field as she is in the kitchen, whipping up something with a calorie count that would make Paula Deen blush. With a 12, 9, and 2 year old in the family, she spends a lot of time in prayer--mostly that her family survives the terrible twos one last time.  You can r

ead more from Lianne at her two blogs: Socks Are Not the Enemy and A Pinch, A Smidgen, and A Dash. 

Teaching Our Kids About God

By: Cassia Glass - Houston, Texas

The single, greatest commission given to you as a parent is to teach your children God’s Word and to introduce them to the Lord Jesus Christ. Nothing else has the capability of bringing life to their very spirits. And no one, not a pastor, not a Sunday school teacher, no one can do it exactly like you can, imperfect though it may be. There are fantastic bible teachers out there, and I hope all of our kids have the chance to learn from them. But at the end of the day, no one on this side of heaven loves your children the way you do, and no one can present God’s words wrapped up in that love in quite the same way.

So how do we do it? How to we talk to squirmy preschoolers or busy older kids about God? How do we keep from boring them (and sometimes ourselves, if we’re really being honest!) with dry readings and lectures? Here are three ways that have helped me:

Nature is a great teacher. As a girl at Camp Maranook, I learned to look for parallels between what we saw in nature and what we were learning about God. When we came to a bridge or log across a stream, our counselor related it to the bridge Christ made between God and humans. Then, she challenged us to find ways to illustrate other principles using nature. For instance, we could talk of how God was our rock, looking at the strength and durability of stones along the path. The path itself and walking along it illustrated the narrow way to God through Christ and the need to have a light for our feet through His Word. To this day, taking things from nature or everyday life and relating them to biblical principles remains one of my favorite ways of teaching and is often one of the main ways God still teaches me. I will never forget when, as a young adult battling anxiety and depression, I was struck by Jesus’ words, “Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!” (Luke 12:24) Here was my Lord reminding me to stop and actually consider the birds, to slow down and take the time to look up at them in their flight, to watch them as they fed from what He provided in nature, and to learn the true depth of His love for me! The slowing down and “considering” was part of His answer for my healing. So now I am always looking for God’s messages to me and to my family in His amazing creation.

Music has been another important tool. Why say it when you can sing it? Simple praise songs prepare the heart to hear God’s word, ministering to the emotions and the soul. They also make scriptures and biblical concepts easier to remember. I made up a song a few years ago when I was teaching the kids from John 15, in which Jesus says that He is the vine. It is a happy, silly song with hand motions that we (try to) sing as a round:

You are the vine, vine, vine. You are the vine, vine, vine.

We are the branches. We are the branches.

We’ll bear much fruit. We’ll bear much fruit

When you pru-u-u-u-ne us. Oh when you pru-u-u-u-ne us.

You better believe that anytime someone starts talking about Jesus as the true vine, my kids start singing that song! You don’t have to come up with your own songs, though. Simple songs like “Jesus loves me” are a great outline for a devotional – Jesus loves me, this I know, for the bible tells me so. You can go on a treasure hunt with your kids for verses about God’s love and give this song great meaning for your whole family.

Finally, we make use of family devotional materials and Bible translations that are easy to understand. I also keep these materials in spots where they are easy to grab during the busy week. When the kids were very young, we used Zonderkidz’s The Beginner’s Bible at bedtime when little ones seemed most ready to hear. Now that the kids are older, we keep a copy of Tyndale Publishing’s The One Year Devotions for Kids, a copy of The Message and an NIV Bible near the kitchen table for moments when we are all together for meals. Sometimes I read to them while they are eating breakfast, letting God’s word wash over them before school, and sometimes we discuss material right after dinner before we all go our separate ways for the evening. We walk through scripture passages line by line—I often interject definitions or explanations for hard terms while we read—and I ask them to talk to me about what it means to them. Our kids have their own bibles, and we let them read portions of scripture to us during family times so that they can begin taking ownership for reading and studying on their own.

As our oldest edges toward middle school, we have helped him find bible studies that can take him deeper on his own, too. I am acutely aware that not too many years from now, I will pass the baton to those dear children, and they will not have me teaching them. But if I’ve taught them to open their eyes to see God’s messages all around, to hear His melody in songs and hymns, and to let His holy Word penetrate their hearts, then I have great hopes that they will continue to learn about God and someday teach their own children, too.

How to Make Friends and Influence People - Kindergarten Style

After two weeks of kindergarten, my quiet little girl finally told me "I don't have any friends at school, Mama."  As we snuggled on the bed and talked, I thought about how big and scary making new friends at a new school must be, and I realized she needed a boost!  She is very self-assured in familiar surroundings, but in this new place, I wanted to give her an opportunity, in a more personal setting, to gain some confidence. 

The plan ... Super Mommy's After School Picnic!  (Hey, we all deserve the chance to be a superhero to our kids every now and then, don't we?)  Here's how it went:

My girl gets out of kindergarten at 11:30, the perfect time for lunch, so I grabbed a picnic blanket and packed some food ... way more than she could ever eat, and got to school early.  I set out the blanket and found the mom I had in mind. 

As class let out, I went for it ... "Excuse me.  Hello, I am trying to help my daugther get to know some of the other girls in class.  Would you and your daughter like to have a picnic with us sometime this week?"  She stopped!  (Usually we all run straight home after school, preoccupied with plans for lunch and naptimes, but this time, she stopped, and so did I).  Her daughter peeked up at me from behind her Mom and whispered "Can we do it today?"  Hmmm ... it was working!  Mom looked around, saw my little one on the blanket already snacking on pretzels, and decided, yes, they could stay and play for a bit!

And there it was!  A bonafide picnic with a new friend on the front lawn of the school.  My "pint-size" daughter got to share her "super-size" lunch, and the girls ate and played together for an hour while I got to know Mom (who is very nice by the way!).  After the food ran out, we headed for our cars, and my heart smiled as I heard Mom say "We can play again tomorrow, sweetie." 

And you know what?  We have!  My sweet little girl has had the opportunity to share her snacks, play and laugh, and even practice her tree-climbing skills with her new friend.  We have had some wonderful afternoons, and I love knowing that I played a part in helping my not-so-outgoing little girl feel a little more comfortable at school. 

And another perk?  I have a new mom-friend, too!  Hmm ... maybe my shy kindergartener wasn't the only one who needed a boost in this sea of new faces! 

Working moms ... no small task

A few months ago, my friend Tanya asked me to write a guest post for her blog with the topic of "Working Moms".  Those of you that know me now know that my life has changed a bit, and I a can no longer lay claim to the "working mom" title.  But as I look back on my professional years, I know that the Lord blessed every minute of it, and I enjoyed it tremendously!  I also realize that all the great nuggets the Lord taught me then, still apply to me today - and it reminds me even more that Moms are Moms and our job is the same, no matter what our title is! 

While I was in the nostalgic mood, I also spent some time looking through some old pictures and found these from my first baby shower - with Tanya and her mom, Sandy, celebrating with me!  Miss you, Tanya!

If you have a minute, hop on over to Tanya's blog She Has Virtue, and take a peek!

Keeping House

Here is the second installment from Lorra Casson!  Today she shares her thoughts about keeping a clean home.  Click here, to see her tips on meal planning!

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Hey!  I have a few minutes, and wanted to share some house cleaning ideas with you.  My favorite tip that I try to follow was passed on to me from a bible study leader several years ago.  We were discussing doing all things as though we were doing them for Christ, and she told us how the Lord led her to pray while doing laundry.  She had four young children at the time and mountains of laundry, so she started praying for whoever's clothes she was folding at the time.  I've started doing this, too, and I can say that it definitely makes folding clothes more enjoyable and faster, because your mind is not on the task but the person!

I also wanted to share with you my cleaning schedule.  This is something that came about when I felt God calling me to homeschool.  I wrestled with the idea of never having a straight/clean house if my children were always home with me.  This is still a daily struggle, but God showed me that if I can plan menus, daily activities for my boys, and schedule other things, why not my house cleaning as well?  This is what works for us and leaves most of the weekend for us to spend together as a family.  If I follow this schedule, (and some weeks that's a big IF) I spend less than an hour a day cleaning.   

• Mon:    Laundry and vacuum  (everybody gets clean sheets this day)
• Tues:    Clean kitchen (except floors) - and I usually cook extra items to freeze
• Wed:    Clean bathrooms (except floors)
• Thurs:   Mop and dust  (my 2 least favorite things to do!)
• Friday:  Laundry and vacuum

Anything that doesn't get done during the week, I try to take care of first thing Saturday morning while my husband is playing with the boys. 

Something else that I just started is a chore chart for the boys.  Let them help as much as they can while they want to help.  They are both responsible for making their beds (bringing me their sheets if it's sheet day), bringing me dishes from the table, putting away silverware, picking up toys, and sweeping under the table (I got them their own little whisk broom and dust pan, they fight over who gets to sweep and who has to wipe the table!).  Although they don't do the jobs quite like I would, it is still less for me to have to do.  

I had planned to offer some weekly prize for the chores, but they ave been so excited over seeing their side of the chart filled with stickers, I don't offer anything else.  They are just learning that to be a part of this household we all have work to do. 

I hope this gives you some good ideas!

Love,
Lorra

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If you have any great suggestions for what works well in your house?  We'd love to hear them!

What's for Dinner?

I received this letter from my cousin, Lorra, at a time when I really needed to start being more intentional with my time at home.  She is an amazing mom and wife, and she loves the Lord dearly!  I hope you are as encouraged by her words and her heart as much as I am.  -Amy

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Hello!

Over the past weeks, I have been listening to a radio series on Titus 2 and the biblical instruction for older women to mentor younger women.  "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." (Titus 2:4-5)  As I listened to this, my first thought was of how I would love for a godly, older woman to speak into my life on a regular basis.  Then the Lord reminded me that we are all older than someone and that mentoring could simply mean sharing some of the practical ways God has shown me to love and care for my family. 

As a busy mom you know how precious time is, so I am going to attempt to share the ways God has helped me make the most of my time, take care of necessary household tasks, and glorify Him in the process.  These are just helpful hints and suggestions.  By no means do I have it all figured out!  As a mom and as a child of God, I am just a work in progress.



One of the best time savers for me is menu planning.  I sit down with the Sunday ads and make a menu for the next week based on items that are either on sale or I already have at home.  Afterwards, I make my grocery list so that I only have to go shopping once that week.  I keep a pretty good stockpile of pantry ingredients, too, so sometimes all we need is bread, milk, and fruit! 

The next thing that has been helpful is that one night a week I make something that can pull double duty for another meal.  For example, if I am browning hamburger meat for tacos, I brown enough for a spaghetti casserole and chili later in the week.  Or if I am baking chicken, I make enough for two casseroles so I can put one in the freezer for later.  I try my best to freeze one extra meal a week.  That way I always have something I can pull out on a busy day when I don't have time to cook.  It takes a little planning, but the time saved makes it well worth it to me in the long run.  (Bonus Recipes!)

My final time-saver is sandwich night!  As a family, we try hard to have game night once a week, and sandwiches are perfect for those nights!  There is little to no clean up for me, and I get to join in all the fun!  We started this as a way to spend quality time together, but for me it has the added benefit of being a night I don't have to cook or clean!

You may already have a system for your meals that works for you.  The Lord has just been prompting me to share some of the things He's shown me!  Just know that I am praying for you, your husband, and your precious children! 

Love,

Lorra 

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Lorra Casson is from Auburn, Alabama.  She is a wife to Thomas and mother to Drew (age 6) and Will (age 4).  She and her husband are also foster parents, so she is currently a foster mom to a 16 month old little boy.  Lorra says that being a mom is the most challenging job she has ever had, but it is also without a doubt, the most rewarding!



Well-digging, Part II

by: Cassia Glass - Houston, Texas

“This is just not working out.”

“It’s not you. It’s me.”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but….”

Ugh. I hate those “let down” lines. They are harsh when we thought we were moving ahead on a great adventure or relationship, only to find a door slamming in our face. They are doubly harsh when we truly believed we were on the path God had for us and then find the path disappearing beneath our feet.

Our well-digging friend Isaac was in the same situation in Genesis 26.  After years of fighting over his dad's old wells with the Philistines, he eventually moves to a new section of the country and goes looking for new water altogether.  But just as his men start digging a brand new well, the Philistines come and start fighting over that one, too!  And the next one.  Isaac even starts naming the wells things like “Esek” (Quarrel) and “Sitnah” (Accusation). There’s a kind of bitter humor here. And frankly, I kind of like that he named them like that. Because when we are trying to move forward and things are not working out, sometimes it helps to just call things for what they are.


That perfect job that turned out to be a disaster? Call that one “Disappointment.” Or that relationship that completely de-railed, perhaps that’s “Trainwreck.” That hurt that’s so deep you can barely breathe when you remember it, there’s a name for that, too. It’s ok to look at it and acknowledge it.

But we cannot stay there or we will wither away!

Isaac didn’t stay camped out at Esek and Sitnah either. Likely he was motivated by practicalities, i.e. the need for water as he reclaimed his inheritance, but perhaps he was also driven to create something all his own. Either way, he kept on searching and digging. And this next well was different.

Finally, he found water in a spot where no one was fighting. He had room to live and breathe, and he called that well “Rehoboth” (Spaciousness). He was able to water his flocks, and yes, maybe stop with all the digging, for goodness’ sakes.  

Even so, that well was not the final reward. Genesis 26:23-24 says that Isaac moved on from that spot to a place called Beersheba where he found something far greater than water: “And the Lord appeared to him the same night and said, ‘I am the God of your father Abraham; do not fear, for I am with you. I will bless you and multiply your descendants for My servant Abraham's sake.’” God showed up big. He reconfirmed everything He had promised. He rewarded Isaac’s perseverance, all that searching and well-digging, with a revelation of Himself.

And Isaac’s response?  Isaac built an altar, had a peace ceremony with the Philistines, and yep, his men dug one more well. Isaac called this one “Shebah” – the Oath, and while it may have been to mark the peace ceremony, I can’t help but believe it marked a spiritual reality. Isaac had his inheritance, not because he had second-hand knowledge that he’d someday be the heir, not because it came easy or just fell into his lap, but because he kept searching and digging until he met the One Who keeps His promises. The One Who is the antidote to fear and the well-spring of endless blessing.

If that’s what, or Who, is really out there at the end of all the days of digging, then maybe you and I can keep digging just a little bit longer, too.

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Father, I take my stand in the name of Jesus, the One who is mightier than Abraham, Moses and David, all of whom You loved and called friends. My Jesus has completed Your promises—they all have their “Yes” in Him. Open the wells of my heart, open my faith-eyes to see and know the hope of Your calling, the rich inheritance in the saints, and the exceeding greatness of Your power toward believers. All things are under your power, Lord Jesus, and they are mine to inherit.

Well-digging, Part I

by: Cassia Glass - Houston, Texas

When I was a child, I sang all the time. Didn’t matter where I was or even what the song was—many times I made them up. If I wanted to sing some made-up song from the top of some old crabapple tree, I just climbed up there and did it. With abandon.

Do you remember that feeling of freedom? Of possibility? Of running down a hill so fast your heart pounded in your throat and even your voice was left behind in a trail of giggles? 

Or maybe you don’t. Maybe life has been a steady stream of “you can’t and you won’t” until you feel whatever joy is out there will never make its way into your heart.

But whether we lost that feeling of promise somewhere along the way or maybe never really had it, you and I both want to know deep down that there is something more than just plodding through our days. Somewhere there has to be a reservoir of life, hope, and freedom.

Genesis 26 recounts Isaac’s search for fresh water, and I can’t help but see parallels to my own life. God called Isaac back to the land He promised his dad, Abraham. Interestingly, even with God at his back, Isaac made a false start: he repeated almost identically Dad’s mistake of pretending his wife was just his sister in order to save his own (cowardly) neck. No one was fooled for long, but they were not real happy about being tricked—sometimes “like father, like son” isn’t a positive, and sometimes overcoming a legacy of failure is as hard as embracing a legacy of faith.

Afterwards, though, he did spectacularly well with lots of flocks and crops. His success ignited the envy of the Philistines, and out of spite, the Philistines filled up all of his father’s old wells with dirt. It’s as if the enemy was filling in the very “footprints” of Abraham where he possessed the Promised Land by faith. And Isaac, in the face of opposition, had a choice not unlike you and I do.

Here’s the deal. Nothing brings us full-circle like becoming mothers. Suddenly we are walking in the footprints of our parents. If they were great parents, we find big shoes to fill. If they were not so great, we desperately try not to fall into the pits, instead of wells, they sometimes dug. Regardless, we are back in old territory where we must choose to make a new life and look for life-sustaining water.

In fact, I’ve found it’s impossible to really start anything new without first dealing with what’s already there. For Isaac, it was the wells his father dug and that were now systematically being plugged up by the Philistines. The king even told him he’d be better off not confronting the problem: "Move away from us; you have become too powerful for us." (26:16) And so Isaac moved to another section in the same country, perhaps hoping to keep the peace, and just as before, “Isaac reopened the wells that had been dug in the time of his father Abraham.” Gen 26:18a

But there comes a time when keeping the peace isn’t enough and running away isn’t an option. Even in the new area, Isaac again came into constant contention over his inheritance. And it WAS his inheritance. God had not only promised this land to Abraham but also to Isaac (Gen 26:2-6); however, Isaac had to choose to keep acting on that belief.

Sometimes we, too, have to go back to old territory and reclaim it even though it is our promised inheritance. That dream from your youth. That first glimpse of God’s plan for your life. That legacy, no matter how large or small, that your parents left you. There is a need for perseverance in the midst of contention while this is happening, the kind of perseverance that says, “I will hold fast to what God began in my family.”

Sometimes we also have to deal with dirt in our wells, whether it’s a sense of failure, a past of neglect or abuse, or just the daily grind causing resentment because we thought things would be different. We cannot run away!  Instead, we must let those things come into His light for healing and release. 

And sometimes, after we’ve dealt with the past and moved past the dirt, we find something completely new, and we move on to dig our own new wells!  (But there's more on that in Part II!)

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Lord, You are the God of my forefathers, but You are also my God and my Savior. You swore to be a friend to Abraham and his descendants forever and that includes me, his spiritual child in the faith. You have shown me that I am Your friend—not just Your servant, but Your friend. Therefore, I have access to the mind of Christ and the plans You have made for me. I praise you, O Holy One, and I trust you during this season of well-digging.

Selling God Short

Behold, the arm of the Lord is not too short to save; nor his ear too dull to hear. Isaiah 59:1

I came across this verse in a bible study last week, and I have to tell you - it rocked my world!

I think I'm good about giving everything to God.  I think I leave it all up to Him.  But this verse made me see that there are areas in my life I must think are too difficult for Him to handle.  I don't hold these things back intentionally, as if I don't want His help.  I'm pretty sure I just get caught up in the panic and forget that He really is Mighty to Save!
Some big changes have popped up in my life lately, and my natural tendency is to start worrying.  But now, God is able to remind me "Wait! My arm is not too short!"  And before the worry creeps in, I am learning rest in Him. 

This verse tells us that:

• Nothing in our life is too far away for His arms to reach it.
• No one in our life is too far gone for His arms to grab them.
• No situation in our life is so complicated that His arms cannot turn it around.

Granted, this verse says nothing about how long the process might take.  His time is not our time.  Our struggles, though difficult, have purpose, and He is allowing us to move through them with the promise of His sanctification on the other side. 

What we have to remember is that we cannot sell God short!  We cannot lose hope!  His arm is not too short to save.  Take comfort in this!  He sees you exactly where you are, and He has not left you.  Nothing is not beyond His grasp.  Your heavenly Father loves you, and He will reach out His hand to you, and You will know in that moment that you have had a powerful, undeniable, personal encounter with your Heavenly Father. 

And in the meantime ... be patient and trust Him.  His arm is not too short!

Battling the Exhaustion Beast

By: Cassia Glass - Houston, Texas

Some days I can be clipping along just fine on this trip called motherhood. I’m wrapping up an injury over here (we’ve graduated from Band-Aids to Ace bandages at our house). I’m balancing the checkbook over there. I’m rocking the world with a chicken recipe that actually turned out great. I will be at the top of my game, feeling spiritually fit and emotionally available. And maybe even getting my exercise in that week.

And then that monster rears its ugly head, that beast with the energy-draining suckers and the big ugly stick called “Guilt” or maybe “Incompetence” whanging away at me. It’s the beast that sneaks in after one or two nights awake with sick kids or a week of too many activities. It’s the one that tries to set up a tent in the living room when unexpected turmoil comes along to stretch your creativity and your budget.

Exhaustion.

Bone-grinding tiredness.

Please tell me you’ve been there, too. Not just a little tired but so exhausted that you really can’t say one nice thing to that whining child much less figure out what to do with frozen hamburger meat. Too tired to pretend with people at work and at church. And if it goes on long enough, your whole world looks gray and hopelessness starts to settle in.

A few weeks ago, I was going through this cycle of exhaustion, guilt, and depression and was trying to pray through it. Not a gentle, folding-of-the-hands, bending-of-the-knees kind of prayer. More of a desperately-trying-to-do-laundry-while-talking-to-God kind of prayer. It went something like this:

“I cannot do this. I am dying here. What I want to know is what would Jesus do in this situation?” Yes, I admit, there was a little attitude in there. “Really, I want to know how Jesus would handle this kind of exhaustion.”

He’d take a nap.

That was the answer that flooded my heart along with the image of Jesus taking a nap in a boat. You remember that story, don’t you?

One day Jesus said to his disciples, "Let's go over to the other side of the lake." So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to drown!" He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. "Where is your faith?" he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, "Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him."
Luke 8:22-25 (NIV)

Yes, there was drama that followed Jesus’ nap—a storm, a miracle, an amazing outreach on the other side of the lake—and I’d like to say I got some huge theological insight at that moment. And no, the reminder of that story didn’t even make me solemnly nod in submission. It made me laugh over my laundry basket! Which is how my sweet Father often cuts through my exhaustion-induced, morose introspection to remind me, “Lighten up. I know how you are formed and that you are but dust.” (Ps. 103:14) So for me on that day and for these last few weeks, it has become clear that no matter what is coming next for my family and me, no matter how much I want to get my to-do list done, sometimes the best course of action is to do what Jesus did ... and take a nap!

The meditation of my heart

My preschooler has started mumbling things under her breath.  Mostly, when she feels like she's being bossed around by us and her big sister.  I know I shouldn't laugh, but I can't help it!  Her latest was, "I don't want to, and that's dumb!" when I asked her to clean her room.  Mostly it's her way of talking back to me because she thinks I can't hear her!  But we're all that way, aren't we?  Even us grownups! 

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Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer! (Psalm 19:14)

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Help me, Lord, to guard not only the words I speak, but also the thoughts I have.  Help me bring my thoughts captive if they are not of You, because if I don't, those thoughts will all too quickly become the next words flowing out of my mouth!

Our witness at home

Have you ever read something in the Bible and thought, "Hmmm, I wonder how my kids would rate me on that one?"  As Christians, we usually think about our witness as it applies to people outside our homes - at work, at church, or even those we encounter on the street.  But in reality, isn't it the people inside our homes that are most affected by our words and actions?  I know it's easy to let my guard down when I walk through the front door.  And sometimes, I just need a little reminder of what my witness really should look like.  {even when my kids are the only ones looking}

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"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindess, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." (Galatians 5:22)

It's a long list.

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Gentleness

Faithfulness

Self-Control

Love - to love our children despite their faults, to sacrifice for them the way Christ sacrificed for us, to willingly lay down our lives for theirs e-v-e-r-y d-a-y

Joy - to actively take pleasure in our children and treasure the life we share with them

Peace - to create a safe, comfortable, restful home for our children, free of anxiety and condemnation

Patience - to perservere with our children as we teach them how to be big, knowing that they won't do it right the first time AND to be patient with ourselves, because we won't always do it right the first time either :)

Kindness - to speak affirming words to our children and our spouse, whether we are in their presence or not

Goodness - to be a living example of honesty, integrity, and truth to our children in everything we do

Faithfulness - to be faithful with these precious gifts God has given us, modeling for them what a Christian life should be - not a life of perfection, but rather a life of humility, submission to the Lord, and forgiveness ... always

Gentleness - to demonstrate our love with hugs and kisses and tender words, to discipline in love, and to be sensitive to each child, especially the ones most different from us

Self-control - to remain the "grown up" and restrain our own emotions in the face of frustration and exhaustion (and temper tantrums!)

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In Philippians 4:8, we are told to meditate on that which is noble and pure. Try meditating on the Fruit of the Spirit throughout your day, and watch God strengthen your witness on the homefront ... where it matters the most!

Starting out

By: Kathryn Nunnally (Houston, Texas and Broomfield, Colorado)

Years ago, when all the world was new, and I was a young mother, a colleague of my husband's asked me to speak to her Sociology class about family.  I accepted her request, and as I thought through what this parenting job really had committed us to, God used the opportunity to provide priceless direction to our little fledgling family.

First of all, I realized I had been so focused on establishing a Christian marriage and a Christian home that I wasn't seeing God's bigger plan: to use the family unit as a tool to mature believers into fully-equipped members of the Body.  It's through our relationships that the everyday lessons, the training, and the dying to self take place for the WHOLE family - beginning with me! 

Well, that initial realization sure took the Christian pride right out of my sails!  It's easy to think that the lessons of the New Testament should be applied elsewhere - in a church or in a classroom.  Certainly not in the kitchen with hungry, grumpy children, a tired spouse, and supper to cook.  But in reality, the Christian family is where the action is - it's where spiritual growth happens! 

With this for background, I’ll talk about our first step in setting forth as rookies.  I believe God helped us to realize we needed something concrete to give us direction with our parenting.  This happened to be a “mission statement,” just like many organizations develop to give focus and direction to their endeavors.

Ours was pretty straight forward: As instruments of God, we will train our young children to hear and obey our voice, so that when they are grown, they will be able to hear and obey God’s voice.
Ultimately, we wanted our children to be mature adults in the body of Christ. 

As I am writing this, I’m amazed at the wisdom God had in leading us to make this statement!  This simple statement became salvation for us as struggling young parents in the 70’s and 80’s when society was telling us that careers, money, and affluence were all-important.  It became the principle measure and reason for what we were trying to do with our children.  Here are some examples:

• It set the right motive for training and discipline.  It helped us see that these were not for our own pleasure or comfort.  They were for our children - to help them become secure Christian adults.
• It guided us in everyday home life.  For instance, my husband and I made the decision never to see an R-rated movie or have one shown in our home.  Things that weren’t uplifting and constructive for us weren’t moving us forward in our own growth much less our children’s.  We, too, had to “hear” God’s voice as we were training the children to hear ours.
• It helped us choose activities for our kids.  More importantly, it caused us to look at our own motives for involving our children in things offered in our community.  Whether it was ballet or baseball, we could ask ourselves: Is this activity furthering their development, or is it to boost our own pride? Does this activity line up with our mission statement?  It made decision-time easier.

We all would like to have “future vision” to see how it’s all going to turn out for our kids.  We all want assurance.  The closest we can come is securing a Godly goal in our own minds, right out front, and going for it!

As we negotiated through our parenting years, we weren’t perfect.  We made human mistakes, just as our parents did before us, but having this simple statement gave us the courage and the edge we needed.  Now, forty years later, as we watch our grown children with their own families, we can affirm that God is faithful to His word and blesses honorable work!

My mission

I believe that one of the greatest responsibilities I have in life is to model Christ for my children.  This is a huge goal, and it is also a wholly impossible goal to achieve on my own ... because I am not Christ, and the reason He died for me is because I am a sinner, incapable of perfection.  As a Christian, I have surrendered my life to Christ, I have acknowledged my sin, I have accepted the Gift of the cross.  The payment has been made, and I know the end of the story - I am assured of my eternity in Heaven.

But what about the days in between?  Herein lies the journey of sanctification - where I search the scriptures, pray, and try my best to pursue His perfect will in my life.  This is where my witness is pieced together, for better or worse, as I live my life under the watchful eyes of my children, trying to show them Christ's love through my actions.  My prayer is that what they see and hear will make them long for their own relationship with Christ, and that when the time comes, my children will recognize that the unconditional love, forgiveness, discipline, peace, and grace that God offers them are not altogether foreign.

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"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2)

Letting Go

By: Jen House (Littleton, Colorado)

As my girls grow I let more go.


In regards to my daughters - I have recently let go of their matching outfits, perfectly organized toy sets, up-to-date photo records [something that works for me: just print pictures every so often and pile them in a bin to put in an album when the kids are older], and sleeping until the moment my girls wake up...

However, the gain is in the 'letting go'.

I'm learning to plan ahead and be intentional with my time. I'm coming up on almost 4 years as a full-time-stay-at-home-mom and I am just now beginning to grasp how important it is that I run my home the same way one would run a business. This means that I have had several blunders that are now successes!

I'm reminded that God cares most about the details that others outside my home may never see. I've set down a few hobbies / commitments to be more present in this very small sliver of what I believe is the most golden part of my life. These little years with my kids. I know that perfection is an unattainable trap.

Currently, the kitchen is unorganized but the dishes are clean. The girls bedroom floor was a sea of tiny plastic animals that I kicked to the side as I put the girls to bed but all of their toys are in their room. Our laundry is currently not put away but it is clean. Something always has to give.

I hope that the strain [when present] in my relationship with God, my husband and my kids is always the first place that I clean.

My days are usually filled with my children along with the honor of caring for a few others. And Friends - Yay! PLUS our hopeful goal of welcoming a baby foster son sometime this year.

And, our new dog. Oh, yes, our. new. dog. ;)

I want my energy spent on people in ways that impact both of us for the better.

Happy New Year!

May we each have our eyes opened to the many meaningful ways we were created to live.

"Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you." - Matthew 6:4

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To read more of Jen's writing and see pictures of her precious girls, please visit her blog Building Castles.