Our witness at home

Have you ever read something in the Bible and thought, "Hmmm, I wonder how my kids would rate me on that one?"  As Christians, we usually think about our witness as it applies to people outside our homes - at work, at church, or even those we encounter on the street.  But in reality, isn't it the people inside our homes that are most affected by our words and actions?  I know it's easy to let my guard down when I walk through the front door.  And sometimes, I just need a little reminder of what my witness really should look like.  {even when my kids are the only ones looking}

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"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindess, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." (Galatians 5:22)

It's a long list.

Love

Joy

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Gentleness

Faithfulness

Self-Control

Love - to love our children despite their faults, to sacrifice for them the way Christ sacrificed for us, to willingly lay down our lives for theirs e-v-e-r-y d-a-y

Joy - to actively take pleasure in our children and treasure the life we share with them

Peace - to create a safe, comfortable, restful home for our children, free of anxiety and condemnation

Patience - to perservere with our children as we teach them how to be big, knowing that they won't do it right the first time AND to be patient with ourselves, because we won't always do it right the first time either :)

Kindness - to speak affirming words to our children and our spouse, whether we are in their presence or not

Goodness - to be a living example of honesty, integrity, and truth to our children in everything we do

Faithfulness - to be faithful with these precious gifts God has given us, modeling for them what a Christian life should be - not a life of perfection, but rather a life of humility, submission to the Lord, and forgiveness ... always

Gentleness - to demonstrate our love with hugs and kisses and tender words, to discipline in love, and to be sensitive to each child, especially the ones most different from us

Self-control - to remain the "grown up" and restrain our own emotions in the face of frustration and exhaustion (and temper tantrums!)

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In Philippians 4:8, we are told to meditate on that which is noble and pure. Try meditating on the Fruit of the Spirit throughout your day, and watch God strengthen your witness on the homefront ... where it matters the most!

Starting out

By: Kathryn Nunnally (Houston, Texas and Broomfield, Colorado)

Years ago, when all the world was new, and I was a young mother, a colleague of my husband's asked me to speak to her Sociology class about family.  I accepted her request, and as I thought through what this parenting job really had committed us to, God used the opportunity to provide priceless direction to our little fledgling family.

First of all, I realized I had been so focused on establishing a Christian marriage and a Christian home that I wasn't seeing God's bigger plan: to use the family unit as a tool to mature believers into fully-equipped members of the Body.  It's through our relationships that the everyday lessons, the training, and the dying to self take place for the WHOLE family - beginning with me! 

Well, that initial realization sure took the Christian pride right out of my sails!  It's easy to think that the lessons of the New Testament should be applied elsewhere - in a church or in a classroom.  Certainly not in the kitchen with hungry, grumpy children, a tired spouse, and supper to cook.  But in reality, the Christian family is where the action is - it's where spiritual growth happens! 

With this for background, I’ll talk about our first step in setting forth as rookies.  I believe God helped us to realize we needed something concrete to give us direction with our parenting.  This happened to be a “mission statement,” just like many organizations develop to give focus and direction to their endeavors.

Ours was pretty straight forward: As instruments of God, we will train our young children to hear and obey our voice, so that when they are grown, they will be able to hear and obey God’s voice.
Ultimately, we wanted our children to be mature adults in the body of Christ. 

As I am writing this, I’m amazed at the wisdom God had in leading us to make this statement!  This simple statement became salvation for us as struggling young parents in the 70’s and 80’s when society was telling us that careers, money, and affluence were all-important.  It became the principle measure and reason for what we were trying to do with our children.  Here are some examples:

• It set the right motive for training and discipline.  It helped us see that these were not for our own pleasure or comfort.  They were for our children - to help them become secure Christian adults.
• It guided us in everyday home life.  For instance, my husband and I made the decision never to see an R-rated movie or have one shown in our home.  Things that weren’t uplifting and constructive for us weren’t moving us forward in our own growth much less our children’s.  We, too, had to “hear” God’s voice as we were training the children to hear ours.
• It helped us choose activities for our kids.  More importantly, it caused us to look at our own motives for involving our children in things offered in our community.  Whether it was ballet or baseball, we could ask ourselves: Is this activity furthering their development, or is it to boost our own pride? Does this activity line up with our mission statement?  It made decision-time easier.

We all would like to have “future vision” to see how it’s all going to turn out for our kids.  We all want assurance.  The closest we can come is securing a Godly goal in our own minds, right out front, and going for it!

As we negotiated through our parenting years, we weren’t perfect.  We made human mistakes, just as our parents did before us, but having this simple statement gave us the courage and the edge we needed.  Now, forty years later, as we watch our grown children with their own families, we can affirm that God is faithful to His word and blesses honorable work!

My mission

I believe that one of the greatest responsibilities I have in life is to model Christ for my children.  This is a huge goal, and it is also a wholly impossible goal to achieve on my own ... because I am not Christ, and the reason He died for me is because I am a sinner, incapable of perfection.  As a Christian, I have surrendered my life to Christ, I have acknowledged my sin, I have accepted the Gift of the cross.  The payment has been made, and I know the end of the story - I am assured of my eternity in Heaven.

But what about the days in between?  Herein lies the journey of sanctification - where I search the scriptures, pray, and try my best to pursue His perfect will in my life.  This is where my witness is pieced together, for better or worse, as I live my life under the watchful eyes of my children, trying to show them Christ's love through my actions.  My prayer is that what they see and hear will make them long for their own relationship with Christ, and that when the time comes, my children will recognize that the unconditional love, forgiveness, discipline, peace, and grace that God offers them are not altogether foreign.

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"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." (Ephesians 5:2)

Letting Go

By: Jen House (Littleton, Colorado)

As my girls grow I let more go.


In regards to my daughters - I have recently let go of their matching outfits, perfectly organized toy sets, up-to-date photo records [something that works for me: just print pictures every so often and pile them in a bin to put in an album when the kids are older], and sleeping until the moment my girls wake up...

However, the gain is in the 'letting go'.

I'm learning to plan ahead and be intentional with my time. I'm coming up on almost 4 years as a full-time-stay-at-home-mom and I am just now beginning to grasp how important it is that I run my home the same way one would run a business. This means that I have had several blunders that are now successes!

I'm reminded that God cares most about the details that others outside my home may never see. I've set down a few hobbies / commitments to be more present in this very small sliver of what I believe is the most golden part of my life. These little years with my kids. I know that perfection is an unattainable trap.

Currently, the kitchen is unorganized but the dishes are clean. The girls bedroom floor was a sea of tiny plastic animals that I kicked to the side as I put the girls to bed but all of their toys are in their room. Our laundry is currently not put away but it is clean. Something always has to give.

I hope that the strain [when present] in my relationship with God, my husband and my kids is always the first place that I clean.

My days are usually filled with my children along with the honor of caring for a few others. And Friends - Yay! PLUS our hopeful goal of welcoming a baby foster son sometime this year.

And, our new dog. Oh, yes, our. new. dog. ;)

I want my energy spent on people in ways that impact both of us for the better.

Happy New Year!

May we each have our eyes opened to the many meaningful ways we were created to live.

"Give your gifts in private, and your Father, who sees everything, will reward you." - Matthew 6:4

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To read more of Jen's writing and see pictures of her precious girls, please visit her blog Building Castles.

Becoming a Family that Serves

by: Cassia Glass (Houston, Texas)

When it seems like most days are spent wiping runny noses and picking up toys, it's hard to imagine there will ever be time to pursue ministry opportunities. As I recently shared with a group of moms, though, you might be doing more than you think.

The first thing is... to remember what’s first! If I have been called to be a wife and mom (as evidence by the fact that I’m married with kids!), then after loving the Lord, my next priority is to love my husband and children. This means that "outward facing" activities at work, at church, or in the community, will need to fall to a lower priority in my life. For our family, this has meant that for a season, I have been very focused on my household as a stay-at-home-mom. I have taken occasional contract work, and I do some Bible study ministry at certain times of the year. However, I want those outward facing activities to be an extension of my family life, never in opposition to it. Furthermore, I want my family to work and serve alongside me, sharing in my joy of reaching out to others. To help me find the right balance, I have learned to use my husband as a sounding board for outside activities. Bible-study author Denise Glenn says that when the phone rings with someone asking her to serve in a particular way, she says, "That sounds interesting. I will talk it over with my husband and get back to you." Then, she listens to what he has to say! I, too, have found that my husband gives me another perspective on how I'm spending my time and energy and how it affects our family.

Second, never underestimate how important the normal, daily training of children is to any future outreach opportunities for your family. The truth is, kids who are whiny, ill-mannered, selfish and disobedient are a hindrance to anyone's ministry. Of course, all kids have days when they are one or all of the above! But that's why they have Mom to teach them about having a good attitude, a gracious heart, and an obedient spirit. Mom, if you are in the trenches doing the day-in, day-out godly parenting you've been called to do, then you are having an impact that can change the world. When it is the right time and God puts an opportunity in front of your family, your kids are going to be the ones helping box up the food pantry items, diligently cleaning the fellowship hall, and taking homemade treats to the shut-in neighbor. It takes time, courage and dedication to become a family that serves, but it is worth it!

Finally, we need a reminder that wherever we are right now is exactly where we are called to serve. We are to be "redeeming the time, for the days are evil." (Eph 5:16) That means walking through our day bringing mercy, grace and resurrection power into the lives of the people with whom we interact. Some ideas from my house:

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• Keep disposable containers on hand to take a meal to someone and pray with them.

• Keep open time in the family schedule so that you're available when God sends someone to sit at your kitchen table who needs to hear that He really, truly does care about them. 

• Leave a tip for the people who clean the tables at the fast food place so they will know that you notice and appreciate their hard work. Point out other hard-working people to your children and take time to thank those people.

• Drive or walk around the neighborhood, quietly praying for the families that live there and praying over the houses that are for sale. Then, actually get to know the neighbors!

• Involve the kids in simple outreach projects like stuffing backpacks with school supplies, collecting for the food pantry, or helping you babysit for a harried mom so she can get a break.

• Tell your kids that they are serving, too, when they stay quiet while you pray with someone on the phone or open the door for you as you carry a tray of food to your car.

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Little things, yes, but I believe with all my heart that when my family is faithful in these little things, our Father smiles. What little ways to serve have you found in your own home?

Let's build together!

Have you ever worried that people think you are too young and inexperienced to do a job?  I have!  When I got my first full-time job teaching college students, I was only 24 years old.  Throughout the interview process, I kept telling myself I was only doing this "for the experience," but when I finally got the call saying the job was mine, all I could think was: "Yes, Yes, Yes!  But, don't you know how old I am??!" 

It makes me laugh that Solomon must have felt this way, too!  In I Chronicles 29:1, King David said to the people: "My son Solomon, whom alone God has chosen, is young and inexperienced; and the work is great ..."  Wow, that must have been hard to hear!  But, thankfully, David didn't stop there.  He asked for volunteers to help Solomon complete the job.  In the end, the labor was done by the hands of many craftsmen, and many people donated their gold, silver and precious stones to the effort.

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And whoever had precious stones gave them to the treasury of the house of the Lord ... then the people rejoiced, for they had offered willingly, because with a loyal heart, they had offered willingly to the Lord... (I Chronicles 29: 8-9)

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God, again, has me in a place where I feel young and inexperienced, but He has called me to build this community of women, and I am excited to see where this journey takes us.  I am surrounded by women who each have their own "precious stones" to share, and I believe that God is again asking for volunteers! 

What has God given you the heart and the ability to do? 

• invest in the spiritual lives of your children
• budget and stretch your family's money
• pray continually
• entertain and open your home to others
• get your children excited about learning
• prepare healthy meals that everyone enjoys
• keep your home organized

Please pray, and see if the Lord is calling you to share some of your precious stones with us!  If we join in this building effort together, I believe each of our homes will be strengthened!

Just do it!

There is a strange phenomenon that occurs in my house when my husband is away. I put the kids to bed early, and then, by some completely illogical non-decision, I stay up entirely too late and get absolutely nothing done! Some of you may actually use this time to get more done, but thankfully I have talked with enough dear friends lately to know it's not just me!

Life around here gets jumbled, and as much as I try to get it all done, I'm just not the super-dee-duper, keep the house spotless and my kids bright and shiny Mom that I'd like to be! In all honesty, sometimes I get the kids in bed and head straight for the couch to watch some fairly pointless tv show or fiddle on my laptop!

That being said, it's funny how God finds ways to call me on the carpet when I get a little lackadaisical about it all. In 1 Chronicles today, King David was talking to his son Solomon about the temple.  As David pulled out his "blueprints," Solomon must have felt completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work he was about to do. But listen to what David said to him:

"Consider now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary ... "  "Be strong and of good courage, and do it; do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord God - my God - will be with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work for the service of the house of the Lord." (I Chronicles 28: 10, 20)

This encouragement is not just for Solomon, it is for us as well!  Proverbs 14:1 reads, "The wise woman builds her house, and the foolish tears it down with her hands."  This tells me that we, as women, are builders commissioned by God, just as Solomon was.  The temple we are building, though, is right at our fingertips. It's in the hearts of our children, in the home we create for them, and in the character we're trying to build in them!

When life starts to pile up around us, and the job feels so big that we don't even know where to start, just remember David's words! Be strong and of good courage, AND DO IT. I love that! Not 'be strong and of good courage, and think about it,' or 'be strong and of good courage, and come up with a good plan, or commiserate with friends, or wait until tomorrow.'  God has chosen each one of us to build our own homes, and we need to do it!  And the best part is that He will not leave us or forsake us until we finish all the work He has called us to do!

If that makes you nervous, David also tells Solomon in verse 9, "If you seek Him, He will be found by you."  Solomon took those words to heart when he asked the Lord for wisdom.  We, too, need to remember to seek the Lord, and make sure that we are following His blueprints for our life and not our own.  His plans for us are far more beautiful than ours could ever be! 

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"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."  (James 1:5)